Just Jo!

Apparently, Kirsty is just a ‘friend’ who lost her keys and couldn’t get home….. hang on a minute, let me just go and see if I’ve got ‘gullible’ written on my head….. nope, didn’t think so.
This, I think, is the third girl who’s ‘lost her keys’…. not that I’m keeping tabs or anything. Either he walks around with a big sign, ‘Anyone who’s lost their keys, come on back to mine!’, or he’s a complete gentleman helping out careless girls….. hmmmm….. ‘careless girls’? Must remember to update the ‘condom chat’….. will he be embarrassed? Yep, probably! Am I ready to be a granny? Nope, definitely, absolutely, categorically no. So I think it’ll be a dose of cringing embarrassment for my first-born while he listens to me, his mum(eeww!!), talk about condoms and s… e…x. Should be fun, can’t wait!!
Actually, I think I will…. just until after he’s got the Christmas decorations down from the attic!
We were supposed to go round and see a friend today, but she phoned in a bit of a panic quite late last night. “He’ll still be in school! I got it wrong! He doesn’t break up ’til Tuesday!” OK, so we’re going on Thursday instead now.
Which meant that Olivia could get on with her production line. Slight cheating going on…. She’d made a collage card at an artist’s friend’s house, who’s teaching her some professional techniques (She’s also a herbalist, showing Olivia how to use wild plants and flowers, but that’s a different post!). We then scanned it, well, Adam did, and a bit of manipulation later, we printed them out so she could stick them on card. So most of the cards were made like that this morning ‘cos she was running out of ideas.
Then it was town…. I might have mentioned before that shopping isn’t my most favouritest thing in the world….. and 6 days before Christmas??!! Why do all the stupid, ignorant, ‘haven’t got a clue what they want’ people all have to come out at the same time?! And all walk about two steps (slowly!) in front of me? Wherever I am?! Actually the loo roll aisle in Sainsbury’s is usually clear….. that’s it then, I’ll lurk there ’til the New Year! Is loo roll vegan? Must be…. what about the shampoo’s opposite? And the toothpaste? That’s me sorted then!
We also discovered that it helps to post cards if: a) you’ve written them out beforehand, b)written addresses on envelopes, c) got stamps and d) remembered to actually take them in town with you! Anyone who gets a card from us this year should be extremely grateful!!
What else? The saga of the new tree!
We threw our old fake tree out last year, it was ten years old, looking a bit ropey but had had a good life. The plan was to buy a real one this year, but we didn’t, I got another fake a few weeks ago. When my mum abandoned us for Spain a few years ago, she gave us lots of tree decorations which we couldn’t put on our old tree, so I bought a bigger one to accommodate everything. We got it out of the box today…..
Now I know why we only had a 4′ tree…. we have nowhere to put this thing!!! It’s in the middle of the living room, we live in a teeny tiny council house, it has nowhere to go!! Olivia’s prancing around it like a hippie, “I love this tree! It’s beautiful! And so big!” I’ve spied through neighbours windows and they have trees just as big, but they are so obviously not home-educating and have nowhere near the amount of junk (make that ‘resources’!) we do!
Oh my lord…. now she has one of my frogs (I collect froggy things, sorry!) stuck up the tree (it’s not being adorned until I find somewhere to put it!), she has run upstairs to get a couple of Polly Pockets to ‘rescue’ the frog because “it’s scared of heights and can’t jump”…??
I make absolutely no apologies for the fact that I may be having slightly more than one glass of wine tonight…. in my new bubbly bath…. it was in the same aisle as the loo roll!